Today was a good day

It is so strange how a day can make such a difference but today was a wonderful day.  I did not do much, just hang around home with my Rottens and I enjoyed every minute of it!
 
In my trying to figure out everything I started thinking about what I used to love to do before I worked, when I was home more often.  The answer is baking.  So much baking!  I am sure you can figure out what the problem with that is so I quit a few years ago.  This really got me thinking about how much I miss it and if it was "safe" for me to do a little bit of baking.  Before when I baked, I ate so much of it but today I do not have to.  There is no rule that says I have to eat everything I bake right?  My habits have changed enough that I feel like I can handle it, so I baked today.

It felt good.  I made 4 loaves of zucchini bread, gave 2 away and kept 2 for my family.  Normally I would have eaten a whole loaf but tonight everyone has had some and there is a loaf and a half sitting on the counter for the next few days, mission accomplished.  I may be able to do what I love without stressing out over it, YES!  If I can get permission to share this recipe OMG I so will, it is fabulous!

Then my most favorite stand on the planet opened last week, HARWARD FARMS corn stand!!!!  If you are from Utah you know the beauty of this time of year.  So yummy and such a fun part of our summer. 

We just learned how to grill it from my cousin Angela.  You soak the corn in water 20-30 minutes before grilling and wha-la perfect corn on the cob, slurp!

As I was sitting outside Reagan said "look at the sky!" right there in front of us was a perfect rainbow.  It was so big I could not fit it all into my camera.  So pretty! 

Lawrence came home from his 3rd day at his new job and was so happy, it is going well.  That makes me very proud of him and very happy!

At the end of the day to look back I realize it was perfect. Just being, living, doing what we do around here, it's perfect to me.  Today it seems like badfunkland does not even exist and I am so glad.

Looking forward to more days just like this one,
Shannon
XO

Trying to leave BADFUNKLAND

I have to write this morning, right now this very moment!  I have been in a funk of all funks.  You know those times when life feels overwhelming and you just do not even want to get out of bed?  That is where I have been.  It is a combination of many things that I really just have not known how to handle.  I find myself in a weird place that is just strange on so many levels.

I am 37 years old almost 38 and I am questioning everything lately.  In one month all my Rotten's go back to school and I will be home, alone.  This should be a time I do whatever I want right?  The problem is I am in badfunkland and these are my current reasons why...

I do not know what I want to be when I grow up yet.  Does that make me insane? 
I do not know if I want to keep blogging.  I hate spewing out negative energy and the positive has been lacking lately.
I hate that my brother in law has cancer, it leaves a constant pit in my stomach each morning when I wake up and when I see the hurt on my husbands face it rips my heart out.
I hate that I cannot fix the pain my brother in law is going though.
I am excited and worried about my husbands new job.  Instead of working from home he is going to be gone every day, I am going to miss him.
I am tired of trying to lose weight and talking about it everyday.  Why can't I just do it already?  It all seems so petty right now.

Those are the things I am dealing with.  It has me throwing myself a pity party on a daily basis right now.  I know it is ridiculous but I keep doing it over and over.

This morning as I was sitting here feeling extra badfunkish I read the post by Dr. Mo on Journey Of Hearts.  In her post she has a video from So You Think You Can Dance of Melissa and Ade doing a dance portraying cancer.  OH MY GOSH!  Something about that whole post set me into a bawling mess and a realization that I am just wasting my time feeling sorry for myself.  Here I sit perfectly able and healthy and I am wasting it all on a badfunk.  STUPID! 

I know that I am not going to immediately magically change but right now I at least feel like I can start. So here is my plan for the time being...

I am going to blog because I need to "let it out" it may or may not be positive, I do not know.  It will be my life and probably more along the lines of a family/mom/life blog. It will be about whatever I feel like writing about and may or may not include health and fitness.  That does not mean I am not still working out and eating healthy because I will be.  Now more than ever I see the need for me to stay on track and take care of myself. 

Superwoman Spirit to me is all aspects of my life not just about health and fitness.  It is a constant struggle to "get it right" but I am willing to keep on keeping on.  The one thing I am unwilling to give up in the whole blogging world is the connections I have made with so many of you.  You have been there for me and such a blessing in my life, thank you.

Moving on today, it feels good, much needed and for once in a long while I see some light in the day.  It is nice and I want to thank Mo for shining it my way today.

Much love,
Shannon 

Just a quick hello

My vacation is going along just perfectly!  It has been so nice to be home with my family and spend the last few weeks of July busy as we can possibly be.  I plan to be back August 1st and I am very excited because things are coming together in very cool ways!!!! (big smile) 
Today I am at Dare To Become sharing a story about my amazing son in Believe, visualize and dream.  Please do stop over there and check it out.
Yesterday I also shared a post on Journey Of Hearts that I love about United Way.  So since your here you just as well stop on by there too!

Enjoying summer
Shannon
XO

My summer vacation

This past week I came up with an idea.  I am going to take a 1-2 week summer blog vacation from Superwoman Spirit.  Not because I am losing it or throwing in the towel. Because I feel like it for no other reason :)
My kids are home and I am working the not job.  It does not look like July is letting up and the next 2 weeks we are expecting company (YAY!) so instead of stressing out about it I am just going on a little vacay.  I also want to get my background and everything else that I have put off on this blog in order.  I am thinking about going back to wordpress.  Does anyone know if it is an easy transfer?  I have my domain so I would think it is simple. 
I will still be contributing at DARE TO BECOME and JOURNEY OF HEARTS so please check those out!  I will still be stopping by your blogs, twittering and facebook I can't just go cold turkey!  Not to mention they keep me going and I love you guys XO

Currently enjoying my summer vacation!
Shannon

Yes, no, maybe, oh well okay!

Overwhelmed anyone?  ME!!!!!  For some reason everything IRL has just gotten to be HUGE and it is making me crazy!  Don't take me wrong I am not meaning it in a negative tone just wondering what the heck happened.  Yesterday poor Mr. Fabulous listened to me tell him I am about to snap.  Of course being fabulous he jumped right in to whip things into shape and help me out.  I love that man! 
That is the feeling I have.  I feel like a log twig being bent to the point it finally snaps in half.
A few months ago I had big plans for summer with a perfect schedule of fun family time, hikes, swimming, exercise and and and.  Today I find myself trying to fit it all in with a million other things.  As some of you know I have a not job.  You know the type of job you so happen into and love it and then realize, wait one minute!  This is taking some of my time.  I only go there 2-3 times a week so it leaves me with 4-5 days of fun-ness.  The truth of the matter is I have to have the not job to afford the fun-ness.  Can you see my dilemma?! 
My problem is I am a "YES" girl 99% of the time.  I have posted before about saying no and sounding in control of everything but then life happens and here I am again.  The thing that makes me the craziest is that I end up with so many things going on that I end up slacking on some of it.  I hate that!  I am a perfectionist at heart and if I say I am going to do it then I mean it, perfectly.
Yesterday I made a plan.  I was going to ask to be replaced as the scout leader.  THEN on the ride home Carson mentioned how excited he was that I was going to be his leader.  I asked him if he would be alright with another leader and his response was, "Why do I always get the bad end of the stick?  I want to be in your group!" umm okay then scratch that idea!  It made me wonder had I burned myself out on my older kids with coaching baseball, PTA, school mom stuff, scouts, church obligations.  Had I given Carson the "bad end of the stick"?   
Carson is going to be 10 this week and I am still trying to balance it all.  Why haven't I become 'SUPER MOM" yet?  I have been a mom for 16 years you would think I could figure it all out.  Is there a mighty secret that I keep missing?  How do you balance it all?  Do you find yourself doing the same things?

A mom, wife, daughter, employee, friend, scout leader, cook, maid and more,
Shannnon
XO