What If I Succeed

Today's "What If" post has been something I have been thinking about for a while.  The last few have been simple compared to this one. I am not sure why but anytime I have to really think deeply about something it freaks me out a little.  I do not like going there and digging up emotions and feelings. 

Let me tell you how this came about. 

Just about 1 month ago I started the Ideal Shape program with my new trainer Skyler.  It took me close to a month after initially meeting with Skyler to finally get signed up.  I had anxiety about starting yet another program.  The whole thought of it was dejavu.  I had done this so many times before and I just did not want to waste time and money on another one.  The morning before my first weigh in and workout I had a conversation with my husband.

Husband- "Are you excited to start this new program?"
Me- "No I am really anxious about it."
Husband- "How come?  I am sure you will do great!"
Me- "This one is a defining program for me.  Today is either the start of finally changing or the start of another failure and it scares me."
Husband- "Well that is really up to you.  I know you can do it."

For about 3 weeks before this I was in self sabotage mode.  I am not sure why or what set it off other than I was at my lowest weight so far on this journey.  Something about it just sent me into a spiral.  It honestly took everything I had to make myself go meet with Skyler again but I did. 

Now let me tell you something about Skyler that I like.  He is kind and caring but he does not just beat around the bush.  He knows the equation to lose weight and he will guide you but he expects you to do your part.  That alone is exactly what I need but it scares the hell out of me to. 

As Skyler and I were visiting I was telling him how I do not understand why I sabotage myself and how I can come so far and just give up.  I have done it before several times and I do not want to do it again. 

He listened to what I had to say and then said something that really hit me hard. 
He said, "It sounds to me like you may be afraid to succeed."
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks.  Why would I be afraid of success?  Everyone likes to succeed that is ridiculous! 

When I left I got thinking about what he said and I realized he was right!  I have a pattern in my life that I will do things 100% get them going really well, give up and move on.  Knowing this I called my brother and asked him his thoughts.  He said, "Well I can see how that could be possible." that was his nice was of saying "Yeah I think Skyler is right." then I called my mom and she said, "You know Shannon I think you are onto something here." the last call and hardest call I made was to my husband and again he confirmed that Skyler was right. 

There was a part of me that was kind of ticked off at Skyler.  I mean who is he to just say something like that to me?  Then there was the other part of me that could not believe someone was finally honest with me and was so willing to help me break this pattern.

So far I have lost 7 pounds working with Skyler.  I have had major scheduling issues and am still working on getting everything down right.  The best thing about all of it is we are working it out and Skyler is helping me figure out a plan that works with my schedule.  I love that he has just not let me off the hook.  That would be really easy to do! 

My thoughts have changed from "I am never going to meet my goals." to "What if I succeed?".  What if I do?  All of the time you hear about stories where people finally get it right.  There is always a last time before success if found.  What if this is mine? 

Anything is possible,
Shannon
XO

What If Wednesday is inspired by Fitarella.

Professional advice from Shannonland

Blogging for over a year pretty much qualifies you as a professional blogger right?  Well in Shannonland it does.  Anyone who is able to come up with something to write for most of the 365 days in a year should be considered a professional no matter what the topic is!

After reading numerous weight loss-fitness-nutrition-life blogs I sometimes think I have read it all.  Lately it seems more than any other time in the past year there has been a little bit of a pattern.  More so with the weight loss blogs.  I have been reading many posts where people are beating themselves up.  Sometimes it is for having a bad food day.  Other times it is because they have not met their goal and feel like they have to start over, yet again.  I think most of us have negative thoughts and feelings every now and then.  Anytime we set our sights on improvement and we feel like we have not improved it can certainly make us feel like a failure. 

The posts I have read that really concern me are the ones that people are saying horrible mean things about themselves.  It really scares me!  No one should ever feel like the number on the scale or the size of clothing they wear makes them ugly, unlovable or unworthy.  I can honeslty say that there has not been a time in my life no matter what, that deep down I did not feel loved or beautiful to someone.  Sometimes not myself but there was always someone there for me when I didn't believe in myself.  It breaks my heart to see someone give up or feel left out and not good enough. 

A fellow blogger that I really love wrote a post today and used the analogy of the glass half full.  She has never seen it as half full and really does not see it as half empty.  It has always just been empty but now she has gotten to a point she feels like there is a tiny drop in it.  Pretty powerful to read.  Especially when I am a glass half full kind of gal. 

Reading that of course put me into a mode of "Oh my gosh how can I help her get her glass half full?". 
So since I am a professional in Shannonland I have some ShanneyPants advice!  This advice is for all of you (and me) who are way to hard on ourselves and really need to just appreciate ourselves more.

Love who you are right now- Do not wait to love yourself when you reach a goal.  The core of who you are is the same today 100 pounds overweight as it will be when you lose that 100 pounds.  I firmly believe to give ourselves to another we first have to love ourselves for who we are.  Look in the mirror today and say thank you to the face looking back at you.  Your smile makes others smile.  Your laugh is contagious.  Your body sustains life, for some the life of a child.  Appreciate your body in the form it is right now!  There is always room to improve, there always will be but be kind to yourself and grateful for who you are today. 

Forgive yourself- Sounds so simple right?  Well I think it is easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves.  For 18 years I could not forgive myself for something I had done.  I let one bad choice determine who I was.  Am I the same person today as I was when I was 15 years old?  No not even for a second but I lived my life shrouded in a cloud of disappointment in myself for years.  When I finally worked through it and let everything go I was able to forgive myself.  This is when I started living!  I was 33 and I barely started living.  So many wasted years and I was doing it to myself. 
My whole point of this is that if you are holding on to something, letting it take over your life and stop you from living.  Do what you must to work through it and let it go.  Life is to short to continuously beat ourselves up for mistakes we have made.  Even if you think it is "to big" or "to hard" believe me it is not.  When one truly forgives themselves it is liberating.

Blog-O-Larity does not matter- Now I know you are wondering what the hell that means. Well in Shannonland Blog-O-Larity means: An estimation of how popular you are, think you are, or want to be in the blog community. 
It is so easy to get wrapped up in all of it.  Trust me I have done it myself.  I was rating myself on how may comments I got on my blog.  How many times a post was retweeted and how many people visited my blog everyday.  I tell you what when my blog got hacked and I had to start over I got a healthy dose of humble pie!  It made me ask myself why I was blogging in the first place.  It was never my intent to make money or be the biggest badest blogger out there.  I wanted to do it to support others and find support.  There is not a number associated with really caring about someone else or having them care about you.  Once I realized this nothing else really mattered.  For myself and my purpose it was more than good enough.
I challenge you to ask yourself "why am I blogging?".  Do not think that just because you are not getting a ton of comments that people are not reading your posts.  They do!  I do!  So many times I am in a position that I am unable to leave a comment or in a hurry.  It does not mean that your words were not read and taken to heart. 

So that is it my professional advice and opinuendo for the day.  You can comment if you would like or just think about what I have said.  Either way I know that my message is out there and that YOU will take it to heart, hopefully feel supported and please put another drop in your glass no matter how full it may be!

Much love from the professional in Shannonland,
ShanneyPants
XO   

Real friends...really!!

Man I feel like such a slow poke on finally getting around to this post. I got home from my vacation on Monday evening, between a talent show, my kids end of school hurryandcatchupbecauseIhavebeenslacking, work and my brother visiting finally, finally I have some time. Thank goodness because I have been thinking about this constantly and all of the things I want to share with you!


With that being said I am warning you now... This post will be far to long, I will talk about myself and my fabulous friends way to much and there is sure to be a picture overload. So if you are planning on sticking around XO to you from me!

I have been asked several times "How did you end up going to meet Susan and Kat?" I thought I would let you know. After becoming blog/twitter friends in April, Susan invited me to come and visit her. You know I did not think twice! At first we tried to schedule it so I would be there for her first solo performance and I was unable to come at that time. Totally bummed out that I had missed her performance we rescheduled and guess what? Her performance was so wonderful that they asked her to do it again. It just so happened to be on the weekend I WAS THERE! How cool is that seriously???? The timing could not have been better. She was fantastic and if you live in the San Francisco area I highly recommend you go see the show. Amazing talent!

I met Kat the same way. We became friends online and when she heard I was coming to California we made sure to meet up. She invited me to spend a night at her house and hang out the next day. Talk about a wonderful woman! I have gotten to know her a little better the past few months because we both belong to a blackberry group that the fabulous Dr. Mo put together.

Now that you know how on earth this all came about I want to tell you about my trip!!!!!!!!

Day 1 I met Susan at her 1st job with my 75 pounds of luggage. (hey I was prepared for almost anything) Luckily there was room in her office for myself and my mound o' suitcases. When she was done there we went to her 2nd job at Weight Watchers. Did you know that just about 1 year ago she started Weight Watchers and is now an instructor? Goes to show what hard work and determination can do for a person. It was just so neat to see her give the presentation at her meeting. I tell you what if I lived in the Oakland area I would be a diehard Weight Watcher member! She is so good at what she does and I loved that the topic of the night was about support. After all that is how we came together, supporting each other.

Okay so a dumb me story I have to share. (picture me blushing here)

We get to Susan's house the first evening. I was fairly confident I had names down pat and would be able to keep 3 people straight. Then Cha Cha happened! As we walk in we are greeted by the cutest little dog ever named Cha Cha. I love animals! We visit for a minute and Susan was on her way upstairs. As she walked away her dog followed her. Since I was immediately a member of the family I thought I will keep the dog with me. As Susan walked away I called the dog (by Susan's mother’s name!) Yeah I did really, I am not lying! I felt like crawling under the couch! Susan looked at me and smiled then went upstairs. I went to bed that night just dying over my epic fail. First thing in the morning I thought "I am going to apologize for what I had done." I told Susan and guess what? She laughed her head off! She did not even hear what I had said and even at that she would have laughed anyway. WHEW!

Day 2 First thing in the morning we went to work out with DJ, holy funnest workout ever! I was able to conquer the jump rope and ropes of doom but the darn caterpillar kicked my trash.

While Susan was at job 3 working (I know she is amazing) I spent the day feeling hip and groovy wandering around Oakland. Can I just say I love the fact that everyone seems to know who they are. It is NOT cookie cutter and I just loved it!

Then she took me to Whole Foods. Now if you do not know what that is google it right now and go! It is the most beautiful display of yummy healthy food I have ever seen. I now have it on the list of have to get there once a week for groceries. You can make your very own peanut butter! That alone qualifies it as the coolest store ever in my book. (yeah somebody is a bit of a ham, love her!)

That evening we went to MY FIRST EVER author reading of Cake Walk by Kate Moses. Such a fun experience! I am actually going to start reading more thanks to Susan's fabulous influence.

Day 3 After a beautiful walk in a nearby park we headed out to San Francisco!! For those of you who have not been to San Francisco you have to go! If possible I highly recommend you see if Susan is available because she is the best tour guide EVER! In about 9 hours I did all of the following for the very first time...

Went to San Francisco

Visited Chinatown

Ate Dim Sum (chinese goodness)

Drove through Little Italy

Walked up and down Lombard Street

Drove down Lombard Street

Saw Alcatraz

Visited Japantown

Ate Manju (a japanese pastry)

Had our pictures taken in the coolest photo booth ever in the Pika Pika sticker booth. (you may want to learn Japanese before attempting this) just a warning.

Stood on the Golden Gate Bridge

Visited Susan's favorite park and her most favorite tree.

Tried Indian food and it was HEAVEN!

Yes I know I mentioned food alot. In my defense it was not as bad as it sounds, it was my day off and we burned over 800 calories walking. So ha!

Day 4 The morning started out with the local farmers market and then a Nia class. I know most of you are wondering what on earth Nia is. Well it is something you just have to try yourself to see. The best way to describe it is just a feeling of freedom. You can express yourself through dance and song. It is a great workout and very refreshing.

The afternoon was low key because Susan had her show to prepare for.

That evening we went to her show and then had to say goodbye for now. I cried like a bawl baby for a couple of reasons. First I was like a proud mother! She did an incredible job with her show. WOW! Second I don't know if there would ever be a time that was long enough when you are with a dear friend. I knew I would miss her and was so grateful to her for inviting me to her home. Thanks Susan!
I left that evening with Julianne and Kat to head to Kats house for yet another wonderful adventure.

Day 5 I woke up at Kat's house but before we get into it I have to tell you about the night before. Kat is like superwoman! She did not let the fact that I was there or that it was around midnight deter her fitness schedule. So proud of her! We were able to visit while she jumped on the rebounder for a while. She actually was doing the 365 days of working out. How cool is that?! We stayed up waaaay to late and visited. I so enjoyed this time with Kat and her wonderful husband.

So now off to the morning! She made me my very first ever green smoothie. I have to be honest I have always just avoided them because they are a bit scary looking. Not Kat's though! Her green smoothie was fantastic! I am still shocked at how much good-for-you food can be packed into one of those.

After the smoothie we did a jog/walk down to the beach. It was raining but still so beautiful. The fact that I was running along with my online friend who has inspired me so often to exercise when I did not feel like it was surreal. The one thing I forgot to tell Kat is that so often seeing her get her workout in every day no matter what has given me the push that I have needed many times. Thanks Kat!

That afternoon we had lunch together and visited more. Still not enough! I just did not have enough time with either of these women. Then she took me to the airport.

I am going to stop this post now but I am sure I will have to write one about some cheese soon!

To meet these dear friends has changed my perspective on many things, for the better. All of the crazy looks I get when people ask if they are my real friends or online friends do not matter. I know they are real. You are real and that is what matters to me.

I am so looking forward to when we meet again and to meeting as many of you as I can in the future. Thanks again Susan and Kat for the wonderful experience!

Much love,
Your friend Shannon
XO

Thank you for being a friend!

First of all I am going to let you know this is a SHORT post.  I have a HUGE post in my head and a ton of pictures on my phone and camera but cannot get to them yet.  Yes it is making me crazy! 

There is just no way in the world I can go one more minute without at least  expressing how grateful I am to Susan and Kat for inviting me to stay with them.  It was also such a pleasure to meet Julianne, so sweet!

So until I get my HUGE post done I at least want to say "thank you" and I love each of you so much.  If the one and only purpose of my blog is to find the kindred spirits that are now my friends then that is the best blessing I could ever have hoped for.

I feel renewed and surer than ever that I will keep moving ahead, getting more healthy and losing weight.  I have always thought that the blogging/twitter/facebook community is like a circle.  An ongoing support system to lift each other up.  There has always been someone there to lend a hand and advice when needed and I hope I can return the favor many times.  THIS IS FOR YOU!!

Hmm... Just thought of it, blogging and blessing sound very similar to me!

A grateful, blessed
Shannon
XO

What if... I meet all of you one day?

Janetha, Mary and Me

As some of you know Mary stayed with us the past two days on her way to Oregon.  We had so much fun I cannot even begin to explain how wonderful she is to you on here.  You just have to meet her yourself!  (fyi she is traveling across the U.S.A. with Kepa in july)

After two full days I found a problem however... SHE LEFT!  Can you believe it?  She gets here makes the whole family fall in love with her then she has to leave, so sad *sigh. 

Seriously for those of you who have not meet up with some of your blogging friends yet.  What are you waiting for?  If you are like me there are some people IRL that just do not get it.  They think that all of us are just "internet junkies" and should just make friends with "real people" because after all it is just the internet.  Puuuuuuhhhhhlleeeeaaazzzzzzzze!

Having Mary here has made me really think about all of the wonderful things that have came about this past year from being a crazy woman with friends on the internet. 

Out of everything the biggest and best highlights have been meeting some of you in person.  The very first twitter/blog people I met were Dr. Mo, Kyra and JeepJenn on a cruise that came from blogging.  Then I met Ryan at a 5k for Autism. (I know he has to think I am stalking him by now but I promise I am not).  Yesterday I met Janetha for the first time and she is awesome!  Another fellow Utaaahaaan Yeehaw!  It is so hard to find Utah bloggers that are not mommy bloggers (not that there is anything wrong with that) I am just well... not a typical Utah mommy ;)
This week not only did Mary stay here with us but I am leaving tomorrow for San Fransisco to stay with Susan.  While I am there I get to meet Kat and spend a night at her house, watch Susan's solo performance (that I apparently have a cameo role in) and meet @pubsgal as well.  Seriously could this week get any better?

So the point of all of this "name dropping" is that I could have never imagined what starting a blog would bring into my life.  I have changed for the better because of the company I keep.  I have learned so much and felt support like never before.  It is wonderful, beautiful and inspiring. 

My what if is a little different because I am not trying to fix anything this time.  I am wondering how much better things will get as I meet more of you.  What I may learn from you and how many more lifetime friendships will be made in the next year.

For any of you traveling through Utah please let me know because I would love to meet you in person.  My list is in hand and believe me if you are here then your name is on it!  I will continue to add to my list of fabulous friends I HAVE to meet each day and hope the time comes sooner than later that I get to run up to you acting like a spaz and give you a hug!

Hey what if you all just move to Utah?????

A very excited
Shannon
XO

Vote to help kids get healthy!

Today I have a special guest.  Rebecca Regnier from Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat is making a difference.  Please read, enjoy and most of all VOTE!

For two years I've been writing diet humor on my blog. I joke everyday because that's who I am. But today I'm putting the jokes aside and seriously asking for your help. This time it's not about diet it's about health - the health of the kids in my community.


I live in an area hit hard by the economic downturn. We're in Monroe County, Michigan where we have one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation at 16%. Like many public schools our district is in dire financial straights. They're cutting here like crazy to stay afloat. But we're not going to accept defeat or depression and we've decided to fight back. We're trying to build a weight room and provide space to expand the physical education curriculum. We're hoping to get our young students and athletes a facility where they can learn lifelong exercise habits and train to compete in the sports they love.

It won't be easy - our project will cost $300,000 and we have to be creative to find the money. So far we've raised $40,000 with an auction. We have an opportunity to raise the rest of the money if we win May's Pepsi Refresh competition. We're in the running for $250,000 to refresh our community. Every dime of the money will go toward building this athletic facility.

So many of us are concerned about childhood obesity. By voting for our project you are giving kids the tools they need to be healthy and grow strong. Voting is free and only takes a moment. In addition you can vote for other projects that move you from autism funding to cancer research. Visit http://www.refresheverything.com/mulemuscle  and vote for us each day in May. Please.


And because I believe in the power of laughter please enjoy this video created by students and starring students. They want you to laugh with them and then vote for them. My entire community thanks you.


Rebecca Regnier/Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat?
Sign up for the Laugh if Off Lettter for a weekly diet riot and diet deals! http://forms.aweber.com/form/21/2017089821.htm
http://www.doesthisblogmakeuslookfat.com/
http://twitter.com/LaughItOff
http://twitter.com/CalamityRobin

Angels Among Us

This morning 1 day before Mothers Day I ran a 5k.  The 5k was for Amy Jackson whom I just heard of for the first time about 3 weeks ago.

"Amy Jackson, an amazing wife, mom of six young children, daughter, sister and friend has just been diagnosed with Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma a fast spreading form of cancer. Because her life has been dedicated to serving others especially youth and the community and with limited time we are raising money to help them in this devastating time of sadness. We are hoping to help cover their needs as a family including helping make some great family memories!

I am true believer that there are Angels all around us each day. Some living and some we cannot see, but they are there.  It is so hard to understand why these things happen but I believe it happens so that we all step back and take a moment to appreciate the things that are most precious to us.

At the 5k we were able to get paper angels to write words of encouragement on and leave on a tree in the Jackson's front yard.  As we ran by and left the angels Amy was on the front lawn in a recliner waving, hugging people and saying thank you.  So beautiful.

So this Mothers Day I ask you to do the following...

Appreciate being a Mother
Spend some extra time with those you love
Be grateful if you still have your Mother here with you today
Pray for those who don't
Enjoy the beauty of breathing life in
Pray for those who want to have children someday
Be grateful to be a part of a family
Say "I Love You" as often as possible
Give so many hugs and kisses people run from you

And most of all realize this very moment is a blessing and a gift, cherish it.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you angels who touch my life and others. 1000's of hugs and kisses sent to you from me.

XOXOXO
Shannon

*To help the Jackson family in their cause please visit their blog Kisses For Amy

What if....I find my Mojo?

Last weeks "what if" has been fun.  It was to look at things through the eyes of a child.  Harder than you might think when all of your adult hesitations jump in the way!  This is something I am going to keep working on because I think it is good for the soul, my soul.

If I can say the best thing that has come out of doing this is the relationship with my kids.  It has been more fun than usual and we have had more conversations, just about stuff.  More hugs have been given and more laughing has annoyed Mr. Fabulous, HA!  Success!  Instead of being the bossy mom I listened more often and let the little things that really do not matter slip.  Heck if I were a kid and was allowed to stay up 15 minutes longer to show my parents my talents it would be awesome!

I have to tell you about my weekend!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes all of these !!!!!! are necessary!!)

I was in St. George taking care of my nephew and it just so happened that it was during the IRONMAN!  So much fun, you have no idea.  The energy in the air was amazing and to actually see these people in person and realize what it takes for them to accomplish something like an Ironman is just mind-boggling. 

When I got to St. George I was in a mega slump.  Not gonna lie about that!  Miserable, and I had been binge eating.  Life, stress, afraid, all of it I just let things get to me and started to think I should just give up, yet again.  Why I ended up there during the Ironman and everything else is NOT a co-inky-dink!  I am choosing to believe it was the universe knowing what I needed... Universal Mojo!  I have had way to many opportunities come my way to just give up and thank goodness I got a not-so-subtle reminder that "I am capable" this weekend.

Do I think I want to sign up for an Ironman??? Hell to the no!  It takes a special ability that I do not posses nor do I ever think I will posses in this lifetime.  My little sprint triathlon that I have re-scheduled to August is enough for me. 

Along with the Ironman they had a fitness festival.  Guess what??  In the St. George area is Fitness Ridge the Biggest Loser Ranch.  So guess who invited me over for a bbq had a booth at the fitness festival??  Yeah them!  I got to meet the following former Biggest Loser contestants in person!

                           Seth Word, ME, Suzi Hoover, Erik Chopin

Yeah I know!!!!!  Loved how casual it all was.  As you know from when I met Ali Vincent I turn into a babbling idiot when I meet people who I think are freakin' awesome.  This time I did better!  I was prepared with... NOTHING to say and even managed to ask Suzi about being so inspiring to others, how it must feel.  Her response was "It is really great but you have to know that we still have to work on it ourselves every day."  Wow can you believe that?!  There is no magic pill we all just have to work our arses off every day to get there and then of all things MAINTAIN!  She is just adorable and Erik looks fabulous!  I am excited to see how well he does at this season's final weigh-in.  Seth is very sweet and I think he was blown away by my super famous-ness and just did not know what the hell to say to me.  Can you just imagine what it is like for celebrities who have people like me blabbing away about how much we know about them and how much we love them, and they have never seen or heard of us before?  Now that would be fun and interesting!

Then I met (que the superstar music)

                                                                      ME, Jim Germanakos

Can I just say AMAZING!  I absolutely loved chatting with Jim.  He had an injury that has set him back a bit but he is right back on track.  Did you know he has a daughter that is a SUPER gymnast?  Well he does!  We talked about how to lose weight you have to burn the calories you consume.  Again, no magic pill.  What impressed me so much that he does have and I thought it was just awesome... HEART!  I know he will be right back on track and re-training for his marathon soon enough.  Just a fabulous man!

I think I should be part of this family...

                                                       Jackie Evans, ME, Dan Evans

I could right?  I could be a family groupie for Dan's fantastic band and chill at home with the rest of the family, couldn't I?  Well even if you said no these two make you feel like you could.  Super kind and even when I told Dan I stalked him on twitter he did not run.  He still smiled and let me get this picture.  I LOVED watching Jackie while Dan was performing.  Such a proud mom as she should be.  I asked them if they would have ever thought all of this could come from being on the show and Dan said "I only dared dream it could be."  Lesson to all of us DREAM BIG, REALLY, REALLY BIG!

So that's it no biggie, just me hanging out with my homies. 

How much more Universal Mojo do I freakin' need?  Is Jillian and Bob gonna show up at my door before I get the hint?  I think not!  I get it I do, and this week I am going to pay closer attention than ever to those big and little things that are trying to remind me to never give up. 

What if I never do?  Can you imagine the possibilities?  I am starting to I can tell you that!

A still amazed at all of it,
Shannon
XO